


Smooth Talkin'

by somethingsintheair



Series: Dumbass of Desire [2]
Category: Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Genre: Again, Awkward Conversations, M/M, awkward first date, buckle in i don't know where this is going, he's an enabler, many italics, somewhat one-sided crush due to dumbassery, wingman meouch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-09-07 19:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16859593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingsintheair/pseuds/somethingsintheair
Summary: After Danny's first attempt at winning the heart of his dumbass crush goes awry, Commander Meouch intervenes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is part 2 of a series. you don't necessarily have to read [part 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16011653) to know what's going on, but it'll help!
> 
>  
> 
> **disclaimer: i know about all the Tumblr Drama™ and i don't care to bring it here. please don't bother trying to speak for anyone. i'm just here to have fun and write some dumb shit and you absolutely don't need to click on this fic if you have a problem with it thnx <3**

It was about a week after the Heart Boner Incident, as Danny called it in his mind. _Only_ in his mind, because there was no way in hell he was discussing it with anyone else. Luckily, Sung didn’t seem to be acting any different, didn’t seem bothered by it at all, and at that point, Danny was really just trying to move on.

They had a show that night, and were currently in the waiting period between soundcheck and their actual performance. Danny was sitting on the edge of the stage, looking over their setlist, when Meouch’s voice startled him out of his thoughts.

“Hey, did you ever end up tellin’ the Doc you’re hot for him?”

Danny’s shock was very quickly replaced with embarrassment as he looked around them. “Dude, keep it _down,”_ he whispered.

Meouch scoffed. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” he said as he took a seat beside Danny. “They’re all in the green room. Did you get into his pants or what?”

 _“No,_ I did _not...”_ Danny took one more look around. “I didn’t get in his pants, no. But trust me, I tried.”

Meouch made a face. “When you say it like that, it sounds bad.”

“Well I didn’t, like… accost him or anything,” Danny said. “I just told him how I feel.”

“And?”

“And... I don’t think he got it.” Danny shrugged. “He said he was flattered? But, like… I outright said I’d fuck him. And he didn’t really respond otherwise.”

Meouch put a hand over his mouth, clearly holding back laughter, maybe trying to spare Danny some embarrassment. “See, this is what I warned you about,” he said. “He’s a fuckin’ idiot. That, or you just shocked him so bad his brain shut down and he didn’t know how to respond.”

“Oh, great,” Danny said, “So I _broke_ him?”

“It’s possible,” Meouch said. He had let his hand down, but was still putting in an obvious effort to keep a straight face. “I told you before, maybe you should take him out to dinner first. Start things off slow, you know?”

Danny raised an eyebrow. “We’re in the middle of a tour,” he said, “We’re basically living with four other guys. How am I supposed to do that?”

A tap on his shoulder made him jump, and he whipped his head around to see none other than the topic of their conversation.

“Hey, sorry if I scared you,” Sung said with a smile. He was always smiling like that. “Can I see your setlist real quick? I just wanna copy it down onto ours.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Danny looked down at the setlist before he passed it back to Sung, and caught Meouch’s eye on the way. He didn’t like that look he was getting, but before he had time to intervene, it was already happening. Meouch was gonna do something stupid.

“Hey, Doc, did you have any plans after the show?” Meouch asked. Danny was already dying inside.

“Mm, don’t think so,” Sung replied. He was sitting down behind them, already copying down the setlist. “Why?”

“Well, we were gonna go out for drinks,” Meouch explained, probably lying. “But my pal here, Danny, you know he doesn’t drink. And I didn’t want him to feel left out, dealing with his friends all tipsy, so I was thinkin’ maybe someone could go out somewhere else with ‘im. Maybe a nice restaurant?”

The whole time Meouch was talking, Danny was staring down at the floor, eyes wide. What the fuck was happening. _What the fuck was happening._

“Oh, yeah, totally!” Sung said, that smile still audible in his voice. “You know, Danny, Earth’s alcohol doesn’t actually affect me. We can have a fun, straight-edge bonding session. What do you think?”

Danny took a few moments to respond. What did he _think?_ He _thought_ he was ready to shove Meouch off that stage, that he was going to ditch the show altogether, but also that Sung’s enthusiasm was disgustingly cute.

The word came out of his mouth before he could even process it. “Okay.”

“Alright!” Sung said. Danny didn’t have the heart to look at him again, but he could hear the stage creak and assumed Sung was doing his excited little bounces. “I’ll see you tonight, then, my straight-edge buddy.”

Somehow, Danny managed to keep it together until Sung left the stage. That’s when he finally looked Meouch dead in the eye, in too much shock to form any more words just yet.

“You’re... welcome?” Meouch offered, a shaky little smile on his face. When he still didn’t get a response, he stood and ran backstage.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two things:  
> -this goes on for longer than it was supposed to because i'm a slut for long dinner discussions  
> -no, i still don't know where this is going

By the end of the show, Danny was in such a good mood that he’d nearly forgotten about the dinner date he did not volunteer to attend. He wasn’t too upset about it anymore, really, mostly just... nervous? He knew he shouldn't be nervous around Sung, they'd known each other for long enough that he'd gotten past his initial feelings of intimidation. Plus, Sung was an oblivious idiot, and definitely did not see it as a date. So maybe, just maybe, they could get through the night without any more awkward encounters.

Once they'd all changed into their sweat-free street clothes, they made their way out of the venue. The ride was pretty relaxed, just the six of them talking about the show and congratulating each other on a job well done. It was only when they dropped the other four off at a bar that things got quiet.

Sung, of course, didn't seem bothered by the silence. He had a smile on his face as Danny drove them along, and was gently swaying along to the music on the car radio. It was something funky, something Danny hadn't heard before, but definitely something that matched Sung's usual tastes.

“Ooh, what about that place?” Sung said, pointing towards a diner up ahead. It certainly wasn't the Fancy Date restaurant Danny had been fearing, so that was a relief. With a new sense of relaxation about the whole thing, he pulled over into the parking lot.

As they walked in, Sung got a few strange looks for his choice of attire-- maybe it was the tank top he wore in the middle of the winter, or maybe it was the visor shades he wore indoors, at night. Either way, it made Danny uncomfortable enough to start feeling nervous again.

“Don’t you ever get cold like that?” Danny asked as they sat down at their table. “It's, like, 20 degrees outside.”

“I bet you it's colder up North,” Sung said with a chuckle. “Plus, my body temperature's higher than a human's. I can handle a little cold weather.”

Danny looked around them then, just to make sure no one had heard Sung say out loud that he was not human. “Makes sense,” he said. “Is that why you get so sweaty onstage?” He cringed internally at his own words. Was that flirting? Was sweat sexy?

“Well, the others get pretty sweaty, too,” Sung said, still with a smile on his face. “My suit just clings to my body, and mine is the lightest color out of everyone’s, so it shows more.”

Okay, so sweat could be a little sexy. Not when Sung went and brought his bandmates into it, but still. Danny wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so he just picked up his menu and used that to cover Sung's face. Out of sight, out of mind.

For at least a few seconds.

“What are you thinking?” Sung asked. “I like the idea of breakfast on a late night.” He breathed in a gasp before Danny could speak. “Ooh, they have vegan French toast.”

That's when Danny finally lowered his menu. “You're vegan?” he asked.

“Well, vegetarian,” Sung answered, “But I like to eat vegan when I can.”

Danny nodded as he looked back down at his menu. That was... fitting, somehow. “I'll probably just go for some pancakes,” he said, “Uh... milk and egg pancakes. If that's alright with you.”

“Of course, I'm not one to judge the eating choices of others,” Sung said with a chuckle.

By the time the server had brought them their drinks and they'd ordered their meals, Danny was starting to relax again. It was just their usual friendly banter, nothing to be afraid of. Maybe this really could just be a nice dinner between two pals--

“So, what made you decide to go straight?”

Danny nearly choked on his drink, and grabbed a napkin from the table to wipe away the water that had spilled down his chin. He cleared his throat, gave his chest a couple pats to really settle things in there.

“Are you alright?” Sung asked, his brow furrowed under his visor.

“I'm... sorry, what?” Danny asked. Maybe he'd heard wrong. Maybe he was just tired.

“You know, like, not drinking alcohol or anything. Is there any specific reason you don't do it?”

Oh. OH. “Oh, um... I mean, not really,” Danny said, and let out one more cough to clear the remaining water out of his windpipe. “It's just, uh, not something I'm into, really. I don’t like feeling tipsy. What about you?”

“Well, it's not that I don't drink, so much as that I don't get drunk,” Sung said. “Not unless I drink a whole lot, anyway. Or something really, really strong. So I don't really bother with alcohol much unless it's in a really good drink.”

“That makes sense,” Danny said with a nod. Once he'd mostly recovered from the initial shock of the first question, he realized it would actually be nice to just get to know Sung as a person. They hadn't spent a lot of time with just the two of them, had they? “So... why doesn't alcohol affect you that much?” he asked, his voice a little quieter to account for the public place they were in. “Is that an alien thing?”

Sung nodded. “My body is more resilient than that of a human's,” he said, “It's a trait of my species. That's also why I don't sleep every night, just sometimes when we're on tour. The extra energy usually comes in handy.”

“Uh huh,” Danny said. “And is that why you're so...” He gestured towards Sung and tried not to spend too much time staring at his arms. “You know. Buff?”

Sung giggled-- _giggled_ at that. “Well, partially,” he said, “But mostly because I exercise. That helps.”

Their server came back mere moments later to deliver their food, and Danny was grateful they probably hadn't heard that last exchange. He decided maybe it was time for him to stop talking and start eating, since A. He was starving, and B. He didn't want to risk any more comments about Sung's physical appearance.

Of course, it was Sung who broke the silence.

“I've been thinking about what you said to me last week.”

Danny froze, his fork in mid-air, the pancake halfway to his mouth. Oh god.

“You know, about playing bass?” Sung said, “I think Meouch would definitely be willing to teach you some stuff. He definitely couldn't be a full time teacher, what with the distance, but I'm sure he'd be able to give you a few lessons while we're together.”

Slowly, Danny brought his fork the rest of the way to his mouth, and gave himself a few moments to chew thoughtfully. “Cool,” he said. “I'll, uh, be sure to ask him next time I see him. As long as he's not completely hammered.”

“Oh, he's usually pretty responsible with his alcohol intake,” Sung said with a wave of his hand. “He'll be fine.”

As if on cue, Danny's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out to see a text from Meouch.

_'if you guys need your own room tonight just lmk, phobos said he'd take one for the team and bunk with brian'_

“Everything alright?” Sung asked. “You look… upset.”

Danny cleared his throat and promptly tucked his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah, everything's fine,” he said, “Sorry. Just Meouch checking in.”

“Huh,” Sung said as he pulled out his own phone. “Wonder why he didn't check in with me.”

Danny shrugged, staring down at his plate. “Maybe he... he thinks you're too polite to use your phone at the dinner table. Or something.”

“Oh, yeah, that's probably it,” Sung said with a smile as he set his phone down. “I try to avoid it whenever possible. I like to pay attention to the person I'm dining with.”

Danny looked up from his plate to find Sung just sort of... gazing at him. At least, that's what it seemed like. He couldn't really tell, what with the visor and all.

“Is something on your mind?” Sung asked. “You seem... weird.”

Danny raised his eyebrow, and managed a chuckle. “Wow, thanks,” he said. “Is that a formal diagnosis, Doctor?”

“Mm, yes, definitely,” Sung said with a grin. He leaned across the table to feel Danny's forehead with the back of his hand. “Yep, that's a definite case of Weird,” he said, “And the only cure is talking about whatever it is that's bothering you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to bother me [ on tumblr](https://somethiingsintheair.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

Danny was quiet at first, looking back down at his plate. Poking holes in his food with his fork sounded really good right about now. “Why do you think something's bothering me?” he asked.

“I don’t think, I know,” Sung said. “I'm an empath.”

Danny glanced up at Sung for just a moment. Was that a joke? It didn't seem like a joke. He looked pretty serious. “Like… what, like the sci-fi kind?” he asked.

“I think you know the answer to that question,” Sung said with a chuckle. “But you're avoiding mine. What's wrong?”

Danny sighed and looked around the diner. It had pretty much cleared out since they’d arrived; it was getting late, and most people who stuck around were closer to the bar. “Wait, but… if you’re an empath, then how have we had these… miscommunications?” he asked. “I’ve tried to… express certain things to you that you don’t seem to get.”

Sung tilted his head to the side. “Well, just because I can _pick up_ on emotions doesn’t mean I always understand them,” he said. “Especially if it’s something I’ve never felt myself. And I don’t always understand the _reasoning_ behind people’s emotions, either.”

“Uh huh,” Danny said with a nod. Alright. Maybe he could find a way to help Sung understand. “Okay. Have you ever had, like… a partner before?”

“A... partner?” Sung asked. “Well, I consider you guys my partners. There was also my Computer Wife-- er… ex-wife.”

Danny laughed at that, but when he realized Sung wasn’t also laughing, he stopped pretty quickly. “Wait, that was… was that a real thing?” he asked. “I thought it was just a song.”

Sung nodded. “Yeah, she’s real. I made her as a companion, and her AI became advanced enough that she decided she wanted to move on from our relationship.” He shrugged. “My own creation simply became too smart for me.”

“Oh… I’m sorry,” Danny said, his gaze dropping down to the table. Great job, he thought. Bring up the guy’s ex-wife in the middle of trying to confess your feelings to him. “Well… well my point is, were you in love with her?”

“I loved her, yes,” Sung said. “But more recently, I’ve learned that it wasn’t much like most human marriages.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I mean, I don’t think it could be labeled as ‘romantic,’” Sung said. “There wasn’t really much, like… feeling each other. Rolling around. Whatever people do. She just… supported me. Emotionally. And we cuddled sometimes.”

Danny resisted a strong urge to slam his head down on the table. Of course they did. “Have you ever even, like… kissed anyone?” he asked. Maybe he was being too forward. Too personal. But knowing Sung, he’d be too clueless to see a problem with that.

“Well, not since I was back home,” Sung replied. “There, kissing was just as common as hugging. But other species don’t seem to be so comfortable with that, I’ve noticed.”

Danny nodded slowly, wracking his brain for something, anything that he could use for Sung to just _understand._ Did his species have romance to begin with? Did he have a romantic partner back home, but just used a different word to describe it? Did he even have a dick??

“Anyway, you have an awful lot of questions for someone who has yet to answer mine,” Sung pointed out. “Are you going somewhere with this?”

Briefly, Danny feared that Sung could read his thoughts, too. But then he realized that if he could, he probably wouldn’t be such an oblivious idiot, so. “I’m just… you said you have trouble understanding feelings you haven’t felt before, right?” Danny asked.

“Correct,” Sung said.

“So… okay.” Danny sighed. He had to bring it up at some point, right? “Do you remember last week, when we were in the hotel room alone, and I said… some things to you?”

Sung thought about that for a moment, then nodded. “Something about a boner?”

“I… yeah,” Danny said. “That. That’s what’s been bothering me, because… your reaction didn’t really make any sense to me.”

“Well, what you said didn’t make much sense to _me,”_ Sung said. “I was tired, and I figured you were tired, and maybe it was just some… weird joke I wasn’t getting.”

Danny blinked. “What… what made you think it was a joke?”

“Well… Ninja Sex Party is a comedy band, is it not?” Sung asked, his head lowered. He was speaking a little quieter now. “And it sounded like something that would come out of one of your songs. I figured maybe you were thinking about lyrics or something, I don’t know. As I said, we were both very tired.”

Danny let out an exasperated sigh, resting his head in his hands. For the first time in his entire musical career, his band had cockblocked him. “Okay, well… if I told you it wasn’t a joke, would you understand the implications of that?” Danny asked.

It took a few moments of silence for him to look up at Sung. The doctor was fidgeting with the napkin by his plate, tearing little pieces off of it.

“Would you think I’m dumb if I said no?” Sung asked quietly.

Danny just stared at him, not quite sure how to respond. That was the first time he had ever seen Sung without his usual air of confidence, and it was… weird. It seemed wrong.

Just as Danny opened his mouth to speak, their server came back with the check. Despite the interruption, Danny was more than thankful to have a little break from that tension. “I got it,” he mumbled as he took out his wallet. He’d led the poor guy through that mess of a conversation, the least he could do was pay.

Sung, who normally would have jumped at the chance to pay for someone else’s meal, just watched on quietly as Danny counted out the cash. He guessed the tip amount, adding a little extra than he thought it would be, since they were basically the last remaining table.

Once that was all settled, he turned back to Sung and his heart sank. Sung looked so… jittery, and was still fidgeting with his napkin as he looked around the restaurant.

“Do you wanna… go back to the car?” Danny asked. “We can talk more, without worrying about… people.”

Sung nodded before he stood up, and Danny followed him back outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't supposed to get a lil sad but here we are
> 
> it's looking like the next chapter will be the last, but i can't be 100% sure. i'm just playing this by ear so anything could happen really jfkds


	4. Chapter 4

The walk to the car was short and uncomfortable. The period of quiet sitting in the car that followed was long and uncomfortable.

For Danny, it was mostly uncomfortable because he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to pick up their conversation, or where he was even supposed to take it. He wasn’t about to explain in detail how he felt about Sung-- It suddenly felt… wrong, almost, lusting after someone who probably barely even knew what the word ‘lust’ _meant._

Sung was fidgeting again, staring down at his fingers on his lap. His expression was hard to read, but the generally awkward aura in the car said all that needed to be said.

Danny’s mouth moved before he could make up his mind. “I don’t think you’re dumb,” he said.

Sung looked up. “You don’t?”

“Of course not. It’s… just a cultural thing, isn’t it?” Danny asked. He still couldn’t really bring himself to look right at Sung, but turned his body just a fraction of an inch to face him a little more. “Like how when you talk about measurements and stuff and I don’t know what the fuck any of it means. It’s not because I’m ‘dumb,’ it’s just because we come from different places. Our cultures and our language and stuff is different.”

Sung hummed. “I suppose you’re right,” he said. “I guess it just seems like a bigger deal when it’s, like… your whole thing.”

Danny furrowed his brow and finally looked over at Sung. “What? What’s my whole thing?”

“Well… sex.” Sung turned his head to looked back at Danny. “The band is called ‘Ninja Sex Party.’ Your _last name_ is ‘Sexbang.’”

“Well… okay, fair point,” Danny said. “But, like, I have other interests. I can talk about other stuff.”

“I know that,” Sung said. “But… my point is, you’re coming to me saying things I don’t really get, apparently harboring these feelings I don’t understand, and it’s just…” He shrugged. “Intimidating, I guess? I don’t know how to respond to something like that.”

Danny was quiet for some time after that, not quite sure how to respond himself. “I’m… sorry if I freaked you out,” he said. “I knew you were kinda… oblivious to this stuff, but I didn’t think it’d really upset you. I can back off.”

Sung shook his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “You’re my friend, and I know you’d never do anything to me with malicious intent. We just had some poor communication, is all. We both could have been clearer with our feelings about the situation.”

Danny let out a little sigh of relief, nodding in reply. “I agree,” he said. “And, like… I still wanna be your friend and all, if that’s okay with you. I don’t want my… weird crush on you to ruin that.”

“Oh, of course,” Sung replied with a wave of his hand. “We work together, after all, I wouldn’t--” He paused and his smile quickly fell into a look of confusion. “Wait… you have a _crush_ on me?” he asked. _“That’s_ what this is all about?”

Danny blinked. “Wh-- yeah, man, that’s the whole… what the fuck did you think this was about?”

Sung shook his head. “Okay, no… wait,” he said. “So you actually…” For a moment, he just stared at Danny, his mouth open slightly. Danny could practically hear the gears in his head turning. And it was hard to tell in the dim light, but he could’ve sworn Sung’s cheeks were turning pink. “Holy shit, it all makes sense. You have a _crush_ on me.”

“Wh… oh my _god,_ Sung, what did you think was going on all this time?” Danny asked. He wasn’t even mad; in fact, he was holding back laughter. “What part of ‘you’re hot and I’m horny for you’ didn’t spell that out?”

“You said it yourself, it’s cultural stuff!” Sung replied, laughing himself-- although his seemed to be more of a nervous laughter. “I don’t connect those things. Sex is a whole other confusing mess for me, but I at least understand what it means to find someone _attractive.”_

Danny let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair, trying not to cackle at the sheer absurdity of the situation. “Alright, well… well, I find you attractive,” he said. “There you go, nice and clear. Do with that what you will, Doctor.”

“...Huh,” Sung said. He was fidgeting again, this time with the hem of his shirt, but he had a little smile on his face. “I… don’t really know _what_ to do with that.”

Danny raised his eyebrows. He couldn’t quite read Sung’s emotions, he had to tread carefully. “Well, I mean, I don’t… _just_ wanna have sex with you,” he explained. “I mean… okay, I kinda went into this just trying to fuck you, but after spending more time around you… I realize it’s more than that.” He shrugged. “You’re just… cute. Nice to be around. So if you happen to also feel attraction to me, maybe we could like… I don’t know. Go out on dates and stuff.”

“Dates,” Sung echoed. “Wouldn’t this count as a date? The dinner, I mean, not the… sitting in a car and dealing with cultural barriers.”

“Uh… I guess?” Danny said, “Yeah. I mean, Meouch kinda set it up like that because he’s an asshole and knew how I felt about you, so. It can count if you want it to.”

Sung chuckled. “Well, I think that was very nice of him,” he said. “Even if it caused us both some embarrassment.”

“Uh huh,” Danny said with a roll of his eyes. He looked to Sung, who was looking down at his hands, still fidgeting, still with that little smile on his face. “Um… but anyway, are you okay?”

Sung cleared his throat. “Yeah, just… never really had someone tell me they’re attracted to me before,” he said. “I mean, I’ve seen fans say it in comments and stuff, but, like… someone I know. To my face.”

Danny nodded slowly. “And… is this okay?” he asked. “Or are you freaking out?”

“Um… a little bit of both,” Sung said with a giggle. “I’m flattered, though, really. I think you’re very handsome. And… I like how you’re so tall, and your voice sounds really nice.”

It was Danny’s turn to blush, his eyes a little wide as he looked out the windshield. Sung was just going right for it, huh? Right out there with his thoughts? “Uh… thank you,” he said. “I’m also… flattered.“

“You asked about kissing,” Sung said. “That’s something humans do with people they’re attracted to, right?”

For a moment, Danny just stuttered. Why was he nervous? He was Danny Fucking Sexbang. _Why was he nervous._ “Uh, yeah, usually,” he said, his voice a little strained. “Sometimes.”

Sung looked up at Danny. He couldn’t see it, but he could Feel his gaze. “Would you like to kiss?” he asked.

Danny blinked, took a deep breath, then looked Sung right in the visor. Why was he nervous. “Do you… understand what that would entail?” he asked. “I’m not, like… we don’t really seem to be on the same page with this stuff, and the last thing I wanna do is take advantage of you.”

“I know what _kissing_ is, Danny, I literally have an academic degree in physical affection and comfort,” Sung said. “You seem to want to, and I think it would feel good.”

Danny opened his mouth to respond, then quickly closed it. He had to think about this. Despite Sung’s sudden eagerness, it still felt… weird and wrong. He needed time to process this, he wanted to give Sung time to do the same. “Why don’t we… put that on hold for now?” he asked, and heard every part of his body and soul simultaneously crying out in protest. “I think we should revisit this when we’re less… tired. A lot happened today. We still have the rest of the tour to go out on more… dates.”

Sung’s posture sank just a tiny bit, but he kept on smiling nonetheless. “That’s fair,” he said. “We can definitely talk about it another time. Would you settle on a hug for now?”

“Yeah, totally,” Danny said with a nod. Sung’s hugs were always a treat, even if they had to awkwardly lean over the center console to reach each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this came out much more wholesome and emotional than i thought it was going to. sorry if you really wanted them to bone down but there's still time.


End file.
